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Teenage Bullying

This article helps define bullying, offers statistics on teenage bullying, discusses the effects of teenage bullying, and offers tips on preventing or reducing bullying amongst teens. Keep reading to learn the many different ways teenagers are bullying one another.

Many people retain horrible memories of high school, in large part due to the bullying they experienced. Teenage bullying is a very real problem in schools. And it isn't always physical. There are many different types of bullying, including verbal and emotional bullying. These types of bullying, though more subtle than physical bullying, can still have a large impact on a student. Additionally, with the Internet now becoming a huge part of many teens' lives, it is no surprise that cyber bullying is seeing an increase. 

What is bullying? 

Bullying includes behaviors that focus on making someone else feel inadequate, or focus on belittling someone else. Bullying includes harassment, physical harm, repeatedly demeaning speech and efforts to ostracize another person. Bullying is active, and is done with the intention of bringing another person down. It is important to realize that there are different kinds of bullying: 

• Physical Bullying: This is the most obvious form of bullying. In this type of bullying, the instigator attempts to physically dominate another teen. This usually includes kicking, punching and other physically harmful activities, designed to instill fear in the one bullied, and possible coerce him or her to do something.

• Verbal Bullying: When someone verbally bullies another, he or she uses demeaning language to tear down another's self-image. Bullies who use verbal techniques excessively tease others, say belittling things and use a great deal of sarcasm with the intent to hurt the other person's feelings or humiliate the other teen in front of others.
• Emotional: This is even more subtle than verbal bullying. Teenage bullying that includes emotional methods aims at getting someone else to feel isolated, alone and may even prompt depression. This type of bullying is designed to get others to ostracize the person being bullied.
• Cyber Bullying: Electronic bullying is becoming a very real problem for teens. This type of bullying uses instant messaging, cell phone text messages and online social networks to humiliate and embarrass others. This can be especially devastating to the people being bullied, since they cannot even find a safe place in the virtual world.  

Is teenage bullying common? 

According to statistics from Family First Aid, about 30 percent of teenagers in the U.S. have been involved in bullying, either as a bully or as a victim of teenage bullying. Data suggests that teenage bullying is more common among younger teens than it is among older teens. However, it may be that young teens are more prone to physical bullying, which is easier to identify, and that older teens are more sophisticated in methods of bullying that are not always exactly identified as such. 

Physical bullying is more common among boys, and teenage girls often favor verbal and emotional bullying. Indeed, while boys report that they are more likely to be involved in physical altercations, girls report that they are often the targets of nasty rumors - especially involving sexual gossip. Additionally, girls are more likely to use exclusion as a teenage bullying technique than boys are. 

What are some of the effects of teenage bullying? 

There are a number of effects that come with teenage bullying. First of all, there are the obvious physical problems and injuries that can result from physical bullying. However, emotional, verbal and cyber bullying can deeply affect teens as well. These activities can lead to depression (and even suicide), drug use and stunted social development. These are problems that can affect a person well into adulthood.

Another problem can be that of retaliation. In some cases, bullied teens have violent fantasies of attacking their tormentors. There are instances in which these teens become violent, turning on their classmates in order to get revenge. This can be a cause of heartbreak and difficulty.

Reducing teenage bullying

It is very difficult to address teen bullying. However, there are some things that can help discourage bullying situations. Teens should be encouraged to seek friends, in person and online, who are supportive and kind. They should try to move in groups if possible, since bullies most often single out those who are alone. 

Also, it is important to have teachers and other adult authorities present when possible to discourage bullying behavior. You can also talk to bullies about more appropriate behavior, and hope that they are willing to listen. 

In the end, it is difficult to totally prevent teenage bullying - especially if it is verbal, emotional or cyber bullying. You should encourage good efforts to reduce bullying, and let victims see that you are involved in these efforts. The best thing you can do is be encouraging to bullying victims and try to help them get through this tough time as unscathed as possible.

Related Article: Prevent Bullying >>

Efect of teenage Bullying

Teenage Pregnancy

Also called: Adolescent pregnancy 

Most teenagers don't plan to get pregnant, but many do. Teen pregnancies carry extra health risks to the mother and the baby. Often, teenagers don't receive timely prenatal care, and they have a higher risk for pregnancy-related high blood pressure and its complications. Risks for the baby include premature birth and a low birthweight.

If you're a pregnant teenager, you can help yourself and your baby by

• Taking your prenatal vitamins for your health and to prevent some birth defects
• Avoiding smoking, alcohol and drugs
• Using a condom, if you are still having sex, to prevent sexually transmitted diseases that could hurt your baby

11 Facts About Teen Pregnancy

1. 3 in 10 teen American girls will get pregnant at least once before age 20. That’s nearly 750,000 teen pregnancies every year.
2. Parenthood is the leading reason that teen girls drop out of school. More than half of teen mothers never graduate from high school.
3. Less than 2 percent of teen moms earn a college degree by age 30.
4. About a quarter of teen moms have a second child within 24 months of their first baby.
5. The United States has one of the highest teen pregnancy rates in the western industrialized world.
6. From 1990 to 2008, the teen pregnancy rate decreased 42 percent (from 117 to 68 pregnancies per 1,000 teen girls).
7. In 2008 the teen pregnancy rate among African-American and Hispanic teen girls, age 15 to 19, was over two and a half times higher than the teen pregnancy rate among white teen girls of the same age group.
8. 8 out of 10 teen dads don’t marry the mother of their child.
9. A sexually active teen who doesn’t use contraceptives has a 90 percent chance of becoming pregnant within a year.
10. Almost 50 percent of teens have never considered how a pregnancy would affect their lives.
11. Teens had fewer babies in 2010 than in any year since the mid-1940s.

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Talking More Than Listening

There is an old saying that we are all given two ears and one mouth, to remind us that we should spend twice as much time listening as talking. This is especially important when communicating with teenagers.

Teenagers often have things to say to adults, but get frustrated at the lack of opportunity. Ironically adults in turn get frustrated at teenagers not communicating or sharing anything with them. Listening carefully and asking helpful questions will often illicit far more information from a teenager, than trying to set the agenda and focus on topics that you think are important.

This tendency of adults to speak more than listen is responsible for generating unnecessary conflict. Adults will often react based on assumptions to teenagers.  By asking questions and exploring reasons behind teen behavior, adults will be in a much better position to respond appropriately.

While young teens aren’t perfect and still need guidance, communicating in a more adult manner with them through discussion and negotiation, as opposed to lectures, will provide much better outcomes.

Constantly Express Negatives

There is a lot to be said for the notion of self-fulfilling prophecies. The way we speak can often result in the outcomes we are trying to avoid.

If you consider, or are worried about, your teenager being rebellious, troublesome, or untrustworthy, the language you use will often reflect your fears and assumptions. Comments and instructions will be couched in negative language, with excessive use of words like “don’t”, “stop”, “never”, and “no”.

Adults whose instructions to teens are constantly negative not only come across as nagging and authoritarian, but also are more likely to produce the very behaviour they are trying to prevent.

Choosing to use positive rather than negative forms of expression can make a genuine difference.  Focusing on the desired positive outcomes, rather than unwanted negative outcomes reshapes what teenagers hear and hence what they focus on.

Similarly being more willing to praise and affirm rather than criticise and pick on teen performance is important.  Teens are usually very aware of their own short comings and failures.  However they are less able to see what they do well. Some adults believe a job well done is its own reward. While this might be true, there is nothing that encourages a teenager more than the positive feedback of an adult.

Positive instructions and genuine encouragement can significantly change a teens outlook and behaviour.

Minimising the Problem

Perspective makes a big difference.  The way an adult perceives a problem is often very different to the way a teen perceives the same problem.

As adults we have lived through the many trials and tribulations of adolescence. What appears like a major life altering decision to a 14 year old  often looks a lot less significant to a 40 year old.

Trying to offer a broader perspective to a teenager with the intention of helping them through a tough time can be counter productive, simply because teenagers cannot take on an adult’s perspective.  Developmentally they are not yet proficient at being able to take on  another person’s point of view.  Experientially they have not experienced life on the other side of many problems so are unable to see the situation as anything other than life changing.

All a teenager perceives when adults try to put their perspective on a problem is “you don’t get me” or “you not taking me seriously” or “you don’t think this important, therefore I’m not important.”

Some typical examples of adults trying to be helpful with their own perspective include:

“It isn’t really that bad.”

“In five years you won’t care about any of this stuff.”

“There will be others.”

While the adult perspective may be the one closer to reality, the effect on the teenager is to minimize their opinion which leaves them feeling misunderstood and isolated.

Not Adjusting Expectations

The challenge of negotiating the path to adulthood is challenging enough for teens without having adults who refuse to acknowledge that they are growing up making it harder.

As adults, and particularly parents, it is easy to view our kids as always younger than they are. It can be hard to admit that they are growing up.  But as teens get older they need opportunities to take on more responsibility and independence.

Adults who continually enforce boundaries and rules that do not acknowledge age or demonstrated capacity for independent and responsible behaviour, can frustrate and alienate teens.

Adults are better served by stopping and considering before saying ‘no’ to a request.  Be prepared to compromise when negotiating boundaries and rules with your teenager.

Ask yourself if your teenager now old enough or responsible enough for you to say ‘yes’ to situations you may have said “no” to in the past?

Fighting Battles That Don’t Need Fighting

Adolescence is a time in life that can generate increased conflict levels.  Adults do themselves no favours by escalating tensions over issues that in the scheme of things may not be worth it.

There are obviously issues on which parents and adults need to be willing to hold firm on no matter the level of conflict which may result. However is an issue of physical safety as important as the state of a bedroom?

Identifying matters that have room for negotiation and compromise can be an important strategy in reducing the level and frequency of conflict during the teenage years.  Teaching and modeling good negotiating techniques and finding compromise are important skills to pass on to teens.

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